some of it rings true. i do like to look at shoes. i do like to run my hand along a rack of nice clothes and feel the whisper of soft fabrics murmur to my palm. each outfit is a new world.
i am intensely self-conscious, and aware of it. i have moved past the awkward teenage stage of perpetually pulling down my tank top and sucking in my stomach; now i simply know: if i don't think i look good, i will duck my head all day; if i don't feel quite right in what i wear, i will be less myself. i like the adventure of putting together "outfits" or whatever you want to call them.
but do i like shopping? in short: yes. in actuality: no. i hate malls. i hate outlets. i hate warehouses and thrift shops. i'm not trying to be snobby, but the mass production, mass consumption, mass purchase, mass experience: it does not fit. i do not want those clothes that do not fit, even if they are 70% off. i can't see myself in a giant warehouse with fluorescent lighting and refrigerators on aisle 12.
today i went shopping, and i bought nine items exactly. they were at full price. but i did not get a headache from trying to visualize me in the clothes, and i did not need to compete with a rack of discounted cashmere. i had only to look in the soft-lighted mirror.
that is shopping that i do love - the kind that reminds you of who you are and who you want to be on soft-lighted days.
No comments:
Post a Comment